Society says I have a bad temper...

It's been such a long time... I hope I wouldn't have to visit my diary or this site unless necessary (No offence, love this place, seriously!). It's nice to have somewhere I can come back to when I need it the most. Life's been quite busy... With ups and downs and shit and blah blah blah But today I'm here with a purpose. Here to rant.

I'm publicly known to have a bad temper. Now I don't know what people base this on but too many people in my life have said that I have a bad temper. My parents, my friends, my boyfriend, the fortune-telling lady and some customers at work (No, I didn't get angry at them. Said my neck was too thin or something lol). But my friends still hang out with me because I'm a clown most of the time. I do stupid things to make people happy. Laugh all they want, as long as the people I love are happy, I'm happy. But that doesn't seem to be enough. People like to emphasize on my temper... Certain people I guess.

Now, I'd like to ask a few questions though. Is it wrong to have a bad temper? Short temper actually, I would like to correct. Bad, but short. Give me an hour, to forget the feeling, give me a day to forget it completely. So is it my fault? I personally think I have low tolerance for bullshit, and sensitive at that. So does this mean I have to change? I ignore things that do not involve me and not give a shit most of the time. So when someone hits you with bullshit, are you gonna smile and say 'Nah, it's all right.'? I'm not a saint. I'm a normal human with a 9-5 office job, a freelancer that takes part time jobs at night, and a loving girlfriend who gives her man all the attention he needs. I don't have time for this bullshit.

I'll give you and example (I love showing examples!) So I was actually driving Person A (very close, but I leave it Anonymous) to dinner. I didn't exactly have a bad day prior to this but I was very very hungry and we were suppose to have a family dinner (celebration of the Winter Solstice). So I waited from 6 to 8 till finally Person A decided to give up on the idea and we go eat ourselves since the rest weren't going to show up (Our family of four only eat at the same table for about maybe once a year, you can guess how close we are). During the whole trip to dinner, Person A would just nag about everything else in life that I can't really stand. I can talk about it for days, but it would make me go of track. A summarize of how much Person A doesn't like my boyfriend, to how my friend's mom is this and this and that. Imagine that. I live with this for my whole life and honestly I still can't get used to it. Who gets used to people insulting you everyday? (Ok, maybe not everyday, but almost every time). Trust me when I say this person has nothing good to say. You see why my temper is so short.

So Person A nags, and I drive. We were passing by a very busy road but the jammed up place was not the lane leading to my destination. So I switched to a left (away from the main lane) lane to avoid traffic since I needed to turn left. And then there's this idiot in a sports car trying to come over from the right side (it was a petrol station). He was quite forceful but the thing is, there were 2 lanes each in this 2-way road. Prior to that he had to pass by 2 lanes going uphill (I was going down). So why the flying fuck does he need to take four fucking lanes to turn right, I don't know. It ain't a lorry. It ain't a van. It's about the size of a normal Aeroback for God's sake. Before I passed, he was still stuck on the other side. When I was passing, all of a sudden this idiot is about a few metres from running into me. And I'm talking his bonnet and my face. People get frightened, duh. The car in front of me is actually slightly stopped in the middle of the road so I'm stuck there. Still, the idiot tried to accelerate. I honked. Twice. Either he was blind or he was deaf. I'd say both. Because he accelerated. Twice. And I assure you, it was not a manual car. If I don't pass, there is no fucking way he can make his four-lane-turn. So the car in front of me moved over slightly. I can finally pass. As I did, I said (in an angry tone, of course): Would you die if you let me go first? (There's no way he could pass anyway. Both directions are stuck and his car front is facing my car SIDE. It's not even a cross road.

So just as I finished saying that ONE sentence.
Person A says: You have such a bad temper.
Excuse me? EXCUSE ME? 
I said: I was this close to being hit by that car!
Person A: As a person, you can't have such a bad temper.
Me: If you were in my position and a car is about to run into you, I don't think you'd be as calm! (My tone IS and I AM agitated)
Person A: Yea, but you still can't have a bad temper.
DDDDD:???????
Person A: How do your friends tolerate you?
Yea funny... How DO they tolerate me?
Me: Have you ever thought of thinking about WHY I get angry in the first place?
Person A: That's cause you have a bad temper.

//flipsalltables I don't wanna say anything anymore...
Sure, someone comes and cut me and you tell me not to bleed. Nice. Real nice.

This is just one. ONE case. Imagine living with this for all your life. In this kind of family background, you most probably get two kinds of kids. 1 - the type that ignores you completely and is immune to all bullshit and ill mannered people that they just don't give a shit about anything (my brother); and 2 - me, the sensitive short tempered bitch that doesn't take unreasonable shit.

I'm honestly tired of society labelling it as my fault for being short tempered while they're just ignorant. I get angry at the uncultured people of a neighbouring factory who block my way intentionally, honks at me, makes wolf calls and says 'Hey babe, becareful!' whenever I pass by to get to work. Yea, I should be like everyone else. Embrace all this and I'll be a more happy person. Just ignore them. JUST IGNORE THEM. Can you? Can you?? If you're not a girl, you might not understand, so a guy's version's example would be these jackasses verbally harassing your girlfriend, or mom or sister. Tell me you don't get upset. I will applaud you.

Thing is, we meet people like this everyday. Not just people who sexually harasses you. The boss who bad-mouths you whenever she feels unhappy. The neighbour that yells at you for parking in front of their house when their car is parked right in front of yours. The kid in the elevator that keeps screaming and poking other people with their hands covered in saliva and their parents just smile at them. I live in a country where the rapist is not found guilty unless the girl is found to be pregnant. So really, can you blame me? For being angry at these little things? Is it wrong to be upset? There are just so many encounters everyday that makes a person so so very tired of society. And society has the nerves to say I'm bad tempered. Yes, maybe I am. So this justifies the people who are ill-mannered, scum and just basically trash? It's like telling girls to not wear provoking outfits. Why not teach boys to respect and not rape them instead? Don't give me that shit about girls being too revealing nowadays. We get cases of Muslim girls fully covered being raped as well. Society gonna point it back to being the girl's fault? So instead of telling people to not get angry, why not teach people to NOT make other people angry? Unless the kid grew up to be uneducated without knowing what is right or wrong, I feel sorry for the parents that are going to have to deal with the oversized and overage baby when they hit 50.

For me, I feel that the more ignorant I am, the more ill-mannered the people around me become. I can't change them. But at least I can choose who to be around with. People who understand to not make others angry intentionally. Which reminds me of this funny person I once met. He was bent on being a villain. Constantly making my very close-minded friend angry. Telling her to be more open-minded and stepping on her tail saying 'Society is like that! You should get used to it!' haha. We blocked the guy after a few months. My point is, yes, a lot of people are like that (villains themselves with or without knowing it: smart-asses, show-offs, sarcastic people who find pleasure in offending others, keyboard warriors) which makes up THE society, and they're PROUD (for whatever reason). But if it weren't for people like them, intentionally making it hard for other people and using 'it's to build your tolerance and it's for your own good!' as their own selfish excuse, people would be less angry all the time. They wouldn't be so hard to deal with. It's like you could close this 20 million dollar deal but you lost it out just because their finance person is having a bad day BECAUSE the smart-ass barista at her regular coffee shop decided to 'teach her a lesson' about society being crude and generally not nice. Chain reaction. Ouch.

So yeah. I'm a generally open-minded person. I'm from an oriental part of the world and a Chinese family. I grew up with a love for American culture and finding peace with both my individualist and collectivist side. Do I sound ignorant? I'd like to think, no. But enlighten me.